


Surrender

by Aryagraceling



Series: Prompts, Drabbles, and Shorts [5]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Comfort, Eros Katsuki Yuuri, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Light Pining, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Nervousness, Slight Canon Divergence, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-23 13:46:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14935418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aryagraceling/pseuds/Aryagraceling
Summary: Yuri's version of nailing the feeling of eros, and overcoming self doubt to create his own free program.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for any out of characterness, I just started watching yesterday. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Kudos, comments, and bookmarks always appreciated <3

I can feel his eyes on me from the edge of the rink. Calculating. Watchful.  _ Beautiful.  _ The spotlight follows me to where I pose on the ice. A cold, calming breath fills my lungs as I stand, listening to the announcer discuss how I’ve been having trouble expressing myself.  _ Eros. I finally understand, Victor. I know who I’m dancing for.  _

When the music begins, my hands fly over my body, highlighting my stomach, shoulders, sides.  _ Everywhere I want you to be.  _ I meet his gaze fearlessly and hope he sees the adoration written in my eyes as my lips curl into a shy smile. Piercing pools of ice stare back through his silver hair and I swear I can see him whistle. 

As the blades on my skates scrape over the ice, I lose myself in the feeling of muscles stretching, fabric whispering over my skin. The feminine fluidity Minako and I practiced last night flows through me and I  _ dance.  _ I give myself up to the heady rush of the crowd’s cheers and fly as the music swells, twisting and leaping. In that moment I am his.  _ Yours.  _ Each sinuous and seductive step brings me closer to his heart. 

I stop as the music dies, arms wrapped around myself and breathing heavily. “Welcome back, Yuuri!” the crowd cries. Everyone and everything fades away as he calls my name. My face cracks into a smile and I start toward him.  _ I’m looking forward to this season now. To you.  _ His arms are stretched wide and he’s wearing the same smile I am. 

“That was the tastiest pork cutlet bowl I’ve ever seen,” he whispers as his arms envelop me. I relax into the hold, resting my face against his, cool cheeks glancing over one another. When he begins to pull away, it’s like a limb being torn from me and I barely hold back a whimper at the loss. “But can I say something?”

“S-sure,” I stammer, hoping against all odds he’ll confess he loves me, likes me even.  _ The only thing that could make this better.  _

He smirks mischievously before laying into me, asking what was up with my form and why I’d screwed up. I’m sure he notices the way my shoulders slump as he throws an arm over them. “You did well with eros,” he says, turning to look into my eyes. “That. That I’m proud of. You are--uh,  _ were-- _ ” he coughs out the word and looks over the rink, leading me to the platforms-- “Gorgeous. You were gorgeous, Yuuri.”

The boxes feel good beneath my feet, but not as good as his arm tightening around me when the announcer asks for a statement. The anxiety threatening to break through, the adrenaline from a performance spurring it, washes calmly away when his fingers grip at his old costume. “I’m going to try and win the next Grand Prix Final with Victor,” I tell the crowd. “Thank you for your continued support!” 

“Looking forward to food?” Victor asks as he helps me down, laughing lightly. The spotlight reflects off the jewels in the costume into his eyes and they narrow, never leaving mine. His hand moves to the small of my back as we move off the rink and into the locker room. “You deserve it.”

Just like that, the anxiety flows back.  _ I deserve it.  _ I set my jaw against the shaking, turning away.  _ But I fucked up. How do I deserve it this time? I should’ve done better. For you. You deserve better.  _ __

__ “Ahh, come on, Yuuri. None of that,” he says softly. “I know what’s going on in here.” He moves to tap my forehead and I look down, unwilling to meet his eyes. “You did well. The fact that there were flaws doesn’t change that. You won. You have me now.” His gloved hand tips my chin up, watching as I shrink away. “And I’m not leaving.”

 

**

I panic the next morning when my phone tells me I’m very late for practice. Makkachin barely lifts his head as I throw on clothes and sprint out the door, tearing toward the rink. I’m panting hard as I get there and of course, Victor is waiting. “Good morning, Yuuri,” he says. I fall to my knees and beg forgiveness, ignoring the base part of me that wants to beg for something else. “No matter!” He waves a hand and orders me to warm up, watching me as I go. “Rest is important as well. Glad you got some sleep.”

He’s staying in my town,  _ in my home,  _ to coach me, and every day with him is like having a god around. Every day he’ll be here by my side, watching me.  _ Touching me.  _ Victor Nikiforov, in the flesh.  _ He stayed for me.  _

We glide for hours before he insists I do jumps. Each time my skates leave the ice, the same worrying thought crosses my mind. ‘ _ You can pay my coaching fees later.’ What if I can’t? How much, Victor? I already owe you everything for even considering to stay. What more can I-- _ I can’t stick the landing, and I sprawl over the ice, glaring. “Yuuri, what’s on your mind? You’re flubbing your jumps,” Victor says. 

“Nothing,” I say, picking up and brushing myself off. “It’s fine.” He gives me a look, but instructs me to begin again. One after the other I fail, and finally he insists it’s time to go.

“We’ll pick back up tomorrow,” he says. “You need to relax, Yuuri.”

When we get home, he drags me downstairs to the hot springs. I avert my eyes and swallow hard as he shamelessly strips in front of me, lean body taunting.  _ Come touch, play with me,  _ it beckons. He leaves and I wrap a towel around myself, unwilling to let him see where the blood’s rushed south. Not that he would want to see my body anyway--he’s too good. Too perfect.  _ God indeed.  _

__ Thankfully he’s got his back to me as I slip out the door and into the pool, sighing as my aching muscles are caressed by the warmth. I close my eyes and lean back onto the stones while the tension drains from my body. “Yuuri?” Victor asks.

I crack an eye and turn my head to the side, not quite catching sight of him. “Yeah?”

“I think we should think about nixing the quads in your free program,” he says.

“No!” I say quickly, whipping my head around. The sight of him naked and stretching assaults my vision and I know the crimson flooding my face and chest isn’t heat. I turn back and stare straight ahead, inhaling deeply and focusing on not just clambering over to touch, taste. “I need those to win, Victor.”

“Not if you get a perfect score on everything else,” he says. “Focus on that instead, and we’ll do one quad.”

I sigh and plant my face in my arms on the stones. “It’s not good enough.  _ I’m  _ not good enough.” I hear him moving closer but I keep my face hidden, unwilling to give in to the voice that says to drink in the sight of him. 

“Do you know why I decided to become your coach?” 

I peer out across my skin to see him kneeling in front of me. My gaze follows the lines of his calves to his thighs to his cock and I freeze there, eyes wide. “N--no,” I murmur. 

His hands are soft against my wrists as he tugs me higher, looking down kindly. “I was drawn to you,” he says gently. “Because of the music--” His thumbs trace circles on the backs of my hands as he nibbles on his lip in contemplation. One hand dips lower, whispering along the muscles of my arm and coming to rest on my shoulder. He tilts forward, our foreheads almost touching. “The way you skate is like your body is creating music. I want to create a high-difficulty program to maximize that.” Muscles ripple under his pale skin as his eyes dart across my face. “Only I can do that. That’s the gut feeling I had, and the short program validated it.”

_ Eros. Love. Sex. Twenty-three years of useless, pent up energy pouring out for his eyes.  _ I gasp as he drags me out of the water and steps in behind me, running his hands down my body. “Gods, Victor,” I whisper, screwing my eyes shut.  _ Think of something, anything but his heat sinking into you, Yuuri. Anything.  _

__ His grip is firm as he tugs me into position, one hand thrown to the sky, the other braced on my chest, one leg out behind me. “Mmm. Perhaps you should produce your next free program,” he says. 

“But my coach has always chosen my music--” I say.  _ I’m not good enough to do both. One or the other, Victor. Even the one time I tried, I failed.  _

“Isn’t it more fun to do it yourself?” He tugs my leg higher and my muscles begin to burn with the stretch. At my protestations, he lets go and interrupts my reasons why it’s not a good idea. “Who was your coach again?”

With a sigh, I give it up. I know he won’t take no for an answer. He’s Victor fucking Nikiforov, for god’s sake.  _ I’m just a no one.  _ “I just don’t trust myself to do the music justice,” I say as we’re toweling off. “But I trust you. You should do it.”

He pulls his shirt on and leans over the bench to grab my chin. “You know who I trust?” I shake my head and he smiles, almost sadly. “You. I believe you can. Now prove it to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback via kudos and comments encouraged and greatly appreciated! You can also let me know your thoughts via [Tumblr](https://sparkswithyou.tumblr.com), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AryaGrace4), or [Discord](https://discord.gg/sf4E5Up).


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback via kudos and comments encouraged and greatly appreciated! You can also let me know your thoughts via [Tumblr](https://sparkswithyou.tumblr.com), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AryaGrace4), or [Discord](https://discord.gg/sf4E5Up).

Watching Yuuri skate is watching poetry in motion. It ignites a fire in me I thought was long gone and it kills me that he thinks he’s not any good, that he’s a disappointment.  A failure.  _ Yuuri--I hope you notice me. Notice what I’m laying bare for you.  _ From the start with gentle touches that lingered a second too long to now, running my hands over his glorious body, I’ve spent my days with him aching for the chance to show him how much he’s worth. How much he matters. 

He sits behind me on the phone with Celestino, catching up while I dress.  _ If only he was facing my way... _ I start when I hear my name from the speaker, his old coach asking about me. “Hi, Celestino!” I say brightly, turning to put my head near Yuuri’s. “Say, why didn’t you let Yuuri choose his own music?” He tells me the man beside me only brought something once, only to decide he probably couldn’t win with it.

Yuuri’s head drops to the side, ashamed, as I look at him. “He’s never had confidence in himself,” Celestino continues. “I told him time and again to trust himself more, but…”

“Celestino,” Yuuri interrupts. A hint of the fire I saw in the ring when he discovered eros shines in his eyes. “I’m going to redeem myself at the next Grand Prix Final,” he says. 

“That’s what I wanted to hear you say last year,” Celestino says, chuckling before hanging up. 

The smile that graces my Yuuri’s face is radiant and brings on my own grin. He’s so peaceful as he sits, telling me how it’s been too long since they’ve talked. As beautiful as the sight is, my face falls as I drop low to bring us face to face. “Yuuri.” I hate the way he draws into himself, like I’m about to beat him. My hand rubs on his arm, encouraging him to loosen up.  _ I’m not a threat, katsudon.  _ “Could I hear the music he’s mentioned?” He stutters out an apology before hastily packing up and leaving. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I call after him. “I’m your--”

The door shuts before I can finish.  _ Coach. More, if you ask me. Let me in. Let me show you, Yuuri.  _ I sigh heavily as I grab my clothes and trek up to my room. To my surprise, Makkachin isn’t waiting for me. In his place on the bed rests a note. “Victor--took Makkachin for a walk. I needed some air. We’ll be back soon.” 

There’s only one route he routinely walks and where he goes, I follow.  _ Even to Japan from Russia. For you.  _ I wave a quick goodbye to his parents before stepping out into the moonlit streets. Birds fly overhead toward the water as I draw closer, seeing him leaning over the rail and staring at the beach we spend precious time together on. 

Makkachin gets antsy as I approach and Yuuri tilts his head to the side, looking at me through long lashes. He groans and rips out his headphones as I step to him. “Hey,” he says. “No need to worry about him. Did you see my note?”

“I did.” The metal bars are cool against my arms as I settle in beside him. “I wasn’t worried about the dog.” 

He grimaces. “I’m all right too,” he says quietly. “I come down here to clear my head.” 

“What can I do to help?” I ask. “Like I was saying before you so rudely shut the door on me--” I jostle his shoulder and earn the slightest upturn of his lips-- “I’m your coach. I’m here for you.” A deep inhale and I step into the pool of doubt in me, casting off my inhibitions. “Wherever-- _ however-- _ you need.”  _ Anywhere, anytime, any way.  _

His head lifts in surprise at the raw honesty in my tone and his eyes are wide when he stares at me. “I--” In what seems to be a show of instinct, his hand grabs for mine and grips tight. “I was listening to History Maker again,” he says. “I like to tell myself that I can do it and everything’s great, but gods, Victor, I’m wrong.” Cars whiz past and Makkachin fidgets as he searches my face for any hint of agreement, finding none. “Unstoppable. Don’t I wish.” He scoffs and tosses my hand down. “I’m only back on the ice because of you, you know.” 

I am silent as I draw him into a hug, wrapping one arm around his back and the other around his shoulders. He breathes deeply against my chest and  _ gods,  _ how I hope he feels my heartbeat through my shirt. We stand there, swaying slightly, until he slides his arms around my waist and buries his face in my neck, pressing impossibly close. “Yuuri, you  _ are  _ wrong,” I whisper into his ear. “You’re amazing. The way you move is entrancing and when you stop, the world starts to turn again. How can I make you see?”

“Don’t stop watching,” he murmurs. His grip tightens into iron before he pulls away, returning to lean on the rails. “Sorry. You’re probably wanting to get back home. Makkachin’s probably hungry.”

I reach down to tug him away, down the street and down the stairs to the beach. The silver glinting off the waves lights up his face as we sit next to each other in the sand. “I want to hear your song,” I say firmly. “Why wouldn’t you win with it?”

“It pretty much sums up my career as a skater,” he says. “I had her redo it, but I still--I don’t know, Victor.” I twine our fingers and lean my head onto his shoulder, reveling in our closeness, his heat leaching into me. “It’s sad and pathetic, just like me.” 

The crack in his voice tears at my heart and I grip his hand harder, wading deeper into the doubt that plagues me as I cautiously turn my head to press a kiss to the soft skin of his neck. “You’re wrong again,” I say. He shudders as my breath ghosts across his throat and I place another kiss on his pulse. “Katsuki Yuuri, you enthrall me. And if you can enthrall me, you can enthrall an audience.” 

“I can’t,” he says. “I shouldn’t enthrall you.” 

“You do,” I say. His hand disengages from mine to wrap around my shoulders, holding me close. “You have no idea how much, Yuuri.” I relax against him and wind a hand up into his hair, playing with his raven locks. He groans at the touch and I watch his throat bob as he swallows hard. “If I show you, will you play the song for me?”

When he nods, I reach my hand around to turn his face to me and press our foreheads together. “You don’t have to do this,” my Yuuri whispers. 

I don’t answer with words, just a gentle brush of my lips against his. It could barely be considered a kiss, but his mouth opens in a gasp and his eyes are blown open when I pull away. “Worth it,” I say quietly. “Was that okay?” 

In response, he tackles me into the sand, encircling my ribs with strong arms. “I’ve wanted that for so long,” he says. The kiss he gives me is a little uncoordinated, sloppy, but one hundred percent  _ Yuuri.  _ It’s the reason I came to Japan--from the moment he caught my eye at the banquet, I  _ knew.  _ It’s home and heat and him, wrapped in a thick blanket of desire and need as his weight presses me into the cold ground. 

“Why haven’t you--”

He kisses the question away. Hands rove over my back and he begins to shake lightly, laughter spilling against my mouth. “I was waiting for you, Victor,” he says. Behind our heads, Makkachin whines, and Yuuri pulls away to beckon him closer. “Umm--” He pauses to look down at me, a gentle smile on his face. “What’s that they called you back in Russia? Vitya?”

My heart soars at the name and I press up to bring our lips together again. “Exactly that,” I breathe. One of his hands cards through my hair and I angle my face up so he caresses my cheek instead. I close my eyes and sink into the touch, bringing a hand up to cover his, hold it close. “Say it again.”

_ “Vitya,”  _ he says, and his thumb brushes against my eye to wipe away a tear that’s escaped.  _ After all this time, Yuuri.  _ He kisses my lips again, then my cheeks, nose, eyes, and finally comes to rest on my forehead. “Show me. Let’s go home.”


	3. Chapter 3

The walk back with his hand in mine is never ending. Makkachin pulls on the leash erratically and my Yuuri’s face lights up brighter than any sun at the string of curses I let out. “Soon, Victor,” he says, tightening his grip. “Almost there.” This is Yuuri at his most beautiful--the way he bites his lip while pushing up his glasses, giving me his innocent smile while his eyes scream desire. Faster he drags me along, herding Makkachin with a gentle touch. “Almost,” he says again, and it’s a prayer spilling from his lips. “Almost home. Hurry, Vitya.”

“Anything,” I say. We pass under the large entrance and barely escape a conversation with his family before he’s pushing me up the stairs, nestling his laughing face between my shoulders as he follows. I move toward his door and he steps between me and the wood, shaking his head.

“Yours,” he says softly. “I want to be surrounded by you tonight.”

I bend down to glide my lips over his, sliding my hands over his cheeks when I deepen the kiss, pressing him back against the door. “Let me put Makkachin in, then,” I say. “I want to remember you and you alone tonight,  _ katsudon.”  _

His hand scrabbles on the door before finally grasping the knob and opening it, stumbling backwards. “Gods, Victor,  _ please.”  _ Makkachin whines when he closes the door, but neither of us pays attention. I’m too focused on the breath he’s stealing from my lungs, and he’s preoccupied by the handful of my ass he’s got in both hands. “Please,” he sighs again when I open my door and lean back against it, drawing him up against my front.

“Yuuri…” His hands are burning me and it’s all I can do to stop him. “Yuuri, pause,” I say. He starts to step back and I see hurt flash across his face as he looks down to the side. 

“I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I shouldn’t--sorry.” 

“Look at me.” My fingers are firm as I tip his chin up, sliding my free arm around his waist and pulling him flush against me. “Katsuki Yuuri, I’ve wanted no one but you for a  _ very  _ long time,” I say. He tries to look away again and I pull his gaze back.  _ I need to show you. Let me make you see.  _ I suck in a deep breath and press our foreheads together, nuzzling against his nose as he melts into me. “But I told you I’d show you how beautiful you are, and I intend to keep that promise.”

He nods as I step forward, pushing him gently to sit on the bed. “How?” Yuuri asks. “How--why?” A flush colors his cheeks as I sit next to him, leaning close. His hands track up my arms, grip my shoulders before coming to rest in my hair. I close my eyes and hum at the sensation when he begins to run his fingers through silver locks. “You’re in front of me and even still, I can hardly believe it’s you, Vitya.”

“I’m real,” I say, chuckling. I pull back and he’s leaning back onto my pillows.  _ “ _ No.” He looks at me, confused, and I gesture for him to sit up. “Stand, please.” He does so and I wrap around him from the back, arms sliding over his stomach while I plant a kiss on the junction of his neck and shoulder. “You’re beautiful, love,” I whisper. He shudders at the term and I smile against his throat. “I do, Yuuri. I love you.”

“I--I think I do too,” he says, groaning and dropping his head back when my knuckles brush over the waist of his jeans. “Love you.  _ Gods.”  _ He shakes when I scrape my teeth along his bared Adam’s apple and tighten my arms around him. “Don’t tease.”

“I won’t,” I say, spinning him around. His glasses perch precariously on his nose and hair flies every which way, but it’s the sweetest thing in the world as he brings a knuckle to his lips and bites gently. “Not too much, at least.” The breath hitches in his chest when I slide my hands under the edge of his shirt and tug lightly. “Can I take this off?”

“Yes,” he says, and his head tilts back as I trail my fingers up his spine, bunching up the shirt before tossing it to the floor. It’s not just his face that’s flushed, but his entire torso, and it grows even redder under my appraising gaze. It’s not the first time I’ve seen him undressed and I’d die if it was the last, but like this, bared for me--

I sigh happily as I grip his face with both hands and turn it to the mirror. “What do you see?” I ask. 

He frowns at our reflection and pushes his head into my chest. “A god and a man,” he finally says. “Vitya and Yuuri.”

I kiss along his temple to his ear. “You’re wrong,” I whisper. “I too, see both. But it’s not Vitya and Yuuri.” Our fingers tangle together when I drop his face. “I see Victor and Eros, two souls led by fate to one another. And this man will thank any god, any day, that he got the chance to be by your side.” I feel the grin that forms on his lips as I press my cheek to the top of his head, staring at us. “No smiling,” I tease. “This is a very serious occasion.”

“Oh,  _ very _ serious,” he says, teeth catching his lip as he smirks up at me. By the third second that passes, neither of us can keep up the facade and we break into laughter, singing to our knees on the floor. He leans forward, pushing me onto my back, and I feel him hot and hard against my thigh. “Show me another night, Vitya. I want this. I want  _ you.”  _

My name rolls off his tongue smoothly, adoringly, and I let out a breathy sigh when he gently rubs against me. “Are you sure?”

“Positive,” he says. He kisses up my throat to grab my bottom lip in his teeth and suck gently. “Please.”

I direct him to the bed and strip without hesitation, leaving only my underwear on. His eyes widen when he sees the wet spot staining the fabric. “This is okay?” I ask. As much as I want to, I won’t do anything without permission. His first time needs to be perfect, something to savor.  _ And who better to make it that way than your Vitya, Yuuri? _

“Everything’s okay,” he says. I fix him with a look and he sighs melodramatically, stretching out his arms so his torso is miles long. “I’ll tell you if it isn’t, okay?”

“Deal,” I say, covering his body with mine. He surges up and tosses his arms over my shoulders, grinds his hips against mine. The fabric of his jeans is rough against me and I whimper into his lips when I feel myself begin to leak harder at the friction.  _ “Gods,  _ my love.”

“C’mon,” he implores. “Touch me.” 

I do, running one hand down his stomach to flip open his jeans and drag my fingers over him. He lets out a choked whine when I slip into his underwear and grasp him. “Let go, Yuuri. Let me hear you.” He arches against me and groans louder when I run my thumb over his head, sliding easily with the precum beading on the slit. 

“F--fuck, Victor, again,” he says. I oblige, and his head falls to the side with his mouth open, brow knit. One more time, with the lightest drag of my nail, and he bucks below me. I pull one of his hands off my shoulder, down my stomach, to rest at the waist of my underwear. 

“Go on,” I say softly, mouthing along his collarbone. His tentative touch thrills me and I dip low, leaning on one elbow as I cant my hips toward his hand. “Harder, Yuuri. I want t--oh,” I squeak out. He reaches to bit down on the side of my neck as his hand tightens and I almost come undone then and there. Months of waiting, watching, and  _ finally,  _ he’s here with me. 

He makes his way up to my ear to nibble gently, then whispers, “You know I’ve never done this, right?”

“Yeah,” I say, pressing my forehead to his chest. “Still okay?”

“I, ah, I just--will you--” When I look up, he’s turned a bright scarlet, but his eyes are on me. “Will you fit?”

_ Oh.  _ He pants as I circle a dark nipple with the rough pad of my thumb. “That’s not the plan, Yuuri,” I purr. He’s confused, and I pull back to look deep into his eyes, tilting one side of my mouth up. “No, I want you inside me tonight.” When I slide off to grab the bottle of lube I’ve got stashed in my dresser, he takes his remaining clothes off.  _ Beautiful, love.  _ He cocks his head questioningly at the half empty tube and I shudder, thinking of all the nights I’ve stayed awake to use it, pretending my fingers were Yuuri’s opening me up. “You can’t imagine how many times I’ve prayed for this,  _ katsudon,”  _ I say, sliding off my underwear and kneeling above him.

“Can’t be more than I have,” he murmurs. He takes a deep breath and runs his hands up my hips and stomach. “Years, Vitya. It’s been years.”

I capture his lips in a blistering kiss as I flick open the bottle and drizzle cool liquid on my fingers. “No longer, no more waiting,” I whisper, bringing the fingers behind me. There’s a slight sting then gentle pressure as I slip inside, and the look on his face is worth everything to me. Unbridled lust flits across his mahogany eyes as I groan loudly, throwing my head back at the addition of a second, then third finger. “Ohh, Yuuri, you’re going to feel so good.”

He touches himself while I rock on my fingers, getting louder with each stroke. “Please,” he keens as I swat his hand away.

“Okay,” I gasp, throwing one hand to the bedside table to root around for a condom. I growl when I can’t find one and he laughs. “Not funny,” I whine. Finally, my fingers find the small packet and I rip it open to slide onto him. He sighs as I stroke him a few times before guiding him to me. “Ready?”

“Yes, oh, yes, yes, yes,” he says, breaking off into an obscene series of moans as I slide down slowly and clench around him. “Oh my god--Vic--Victor, pause.”

I stop immediately and put both hands on his heaving chest. “What’s wrong?”

“Too good,” he grinds out. “Need--a minute.” We sit connected, just breathing, calming down, until he moves slightly. The shift causes him to brush against that sweet spot inside of me and I lean back, rocking my hips. 

“All right?” I ask. 

“Perfect,” he whispers, and I give into sensation. He fills me almost perfectly, better than anyone I’ve had, and I snap my hips down faster with each passing second, fire burning low in my stomach. “Fuck, you’re good, so good for me,” he says. “Not gonna last much longer, love.”

A bead of sweat slips down my face as I smile and lean down to kiss him, still riding mercilessly. “Come, Yuuri,” I say, wrapping a hand around myself. I clench around him at the touch and he cries my name as he comes, fingers digging into my thighs hard enough to bruise. “Yes,” I hiss. My hips slow to a stop as I bring myself off over his chest, lips still locked tight. 

“I love you,” he whispers, wrapping his arms around me. “Thank you, Vitya. For everything.”

“Thank  _ you,”  _ I say. He fidgets below me and I pull off, grabbing the condom to toss in the garbage. “I told you you’re gorgeous. Now will you believe me?” I watch him sigh as I come out of the bathroom with a cloth for us. 

“I’ll work on it,” he says softly. 

I clean him, then myself in silence before slipping into sweatpants and retrieving Makkachin. He makes room for me on the bed as I slide back in, resting my face on his warm chest. “You’ll see eventually,” I say. “I promise.”  _ My katsudon. No one’s like you, can compare to you.  _

He clears his throat and kisses my head. “I promised you something too,” he says. “And I’m still worried about it.”

“I want to hear,” I say, rubbing circles on his chest. “Let me in.”

“Give me a second.” He plays with my hair and I melt into the bed. It’s been so long since I’ve had someone to do this with, and I forgot how much I missed it--the after-sex cuddling, the vulnerability of love. Yuuri reaches for his phone on the nightstand and snags my headphones as well. I put them in and he strokes my back while he thumbs through his music.

Quick piano runs flood my senses and I can feel the yearning Yuuri felt, the loneliness. The song morphs into something bold before scaling back to a simple melody that makes me hang tighter to the man below me.  _ Is this how you feel, love? This hope? Gods, I need for that to be the case.  _ “Beautiful,” I whisper, and his hand winds into my hair, holding me close. As it winds down, I nuzzle into his neck and kiss his jaw. I take out the headphones and press up to look down at him. “This will win you gold,” I say. “Me by your side, your natural talent, and this on the speakers--Yuuri, there’s no way you’ll lose.”

He huffs a light laugh and kisses my temple. “If you say so, Vitya.” 

“I do,” I say. “As long as you trust me.”

“Yes,” he says after a pause. “I always will. As long as you keep believing in me.”

I smile and tug his arm tighter around me.  _ After all this time, Yuuri?  _ “I’ll never stop.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback via kudos and comments encouraged and greatly appreciated! You can also let me know your thoughts via [Tumblr](https://sparkswithyou.tumblr.com), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AryaGrace4), or [Discord](https://discord.gg/sf4E5Up).


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